The Sandwich Generation: It’s what your children and your parents have in common, if you’re a Mom with school-age children and aging parents.
On this episode of the Naperville Mom’s Network, the Moms talk with Dennise Vaughn of Homewatch CareGivers about being part of the sandwich-generation.
Dennise Vaughn advises Moms to think about their parents like their kids.
“I would recommend this to a lot of people, especially if your parents don’t live near by…assume they lie. I mean that with a lot of love, but they’re kind of like your teenagers. ‘Did you make bed?’ ‘Yeah, I made my bed,’ and the bed is not made. ‘Did you eat something after school?’ ‘Yeah, I ate something,’ but they didn’t or it was a bowl of Skittles. Your parents are trying to appease you. They don’t want to need you. So they will say anything to avoid getting care or support.“
The sandwich-generation Mom often struggles with guilt on so many levels.
“I felt guilty not being there to do the day-to-day,” said Patti Miglin. “But it was my oldest sister who said ‘you play the role you need to play that I need you to play, that we all have our own little parts…’”
“Communication between all parties is critical,” says Vaughn, especially among siblings. Those who carry more of the day-to-day burden suffer a higher mortality rate. A staggering 63% will die earlier because of the stress than those who are not providing care. Vaughn says respite care can often be a good option for some temporary relief.
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Guest: Dennise Vaughn – Homewatch Care Givers
- Dr. Cathy Subber
- Saritha Arellano
- Erica Lopez
- Patti Minglin