On this episode of The Mom’s Network Dr. Cathy Subber and the Moms talk about wedding planning, the ups, downs, and COVID 19 pandemic. Dr. Cathy and Patti Minglin are joined by guests Moms Katie Matar & Linda Whitaker to talk about being a parent of an adult child and the wedding process. Whether you’re the mother of the bride or groom it is a transition time for parents as your child starts the own family.
“My daughter is getting married in a couple of weeks,” said Patti “It’s a lot different than when I got married 28 years ago,” she said “But I like that I’m kind of learning with her along the way,”
Engagement and Planning for Perfection
“Let’s start with engagement,” said Dr. Cathy Subber “What did you do when you found our your child was engaged, what was the first step?”
“The first thing we did is, I sat down with my daughter and just asked what she was looking for, what was she thinking?” said Patti Miglin. “It’s easy to jump in and plan the wedding I have in my head, but I had to step back and let her talk first which is hard for me.” Patti went on to say that it can be difficult organizing all the different variables that can go into a wedding, and balancing everything that can be up in the air.
Linda Whitaker did not have that problem, and took charge with helping her eldest daughter plan. “I was on the other end of the spectrum. As soon as my daughter and her fiancé got engaged I got out the 3 ring binder. I just started inserting different venues, meals, guest list, all the other items that we needed to plan the wedding, a pretty big one.”
“My daughter said that she just wanted to go off and get married, in a small church wedding,” said Katie Matar. “I had to say ‘not so fast’ because we have a big family and we all wanted to celebrate together. So we talked her into a bigger wedding of about 240 people, and then we had to convince her the other way once the pandemic hit.”
Planning Around a Pandemic
With an unprecedented global pandemic requiring people to keep their distance, it’s more difficult than ever to plan an event that celebrates two people coming together. But a wedding not going as planned doesn’t mean that it’s gone wrong, as Dr. Cathy shared. “When I was getting married, the limo that was supposed to take me to the reception ended up taking the wrong person, another bride from another wedding, so I had to take a random taxi cab with my maid of honor to my reception. But I wasn’t upset, my maid of honor and my husband said to me that they were so sorry that it happened, but all I was thinking was ‘this will be a great story to tell someone someday.'”
Katie had a similar experience with her daughter due to the COVID-19 pandemic. She shared that her daughter had to make the wedding much smaller, and have the reception with limited people, and not at the original venue. “But as we were walking out of the restaurant, there was a band playing, and my daughter in her dress with her husband ended up dancing in the street in front of everyone. It was a beautiful song, and a wonderful moment that I’ll never forget, just those two dancing and being happy despite the fact that their wedding didn’t go as planned. It was wonderful.”
Weddings can be big or small, and planning them is hard work, but it doesn’t have to be a chore. The important thing is that two people are getting married and celebrating their love for one another, and everything else is just icing on the (wedding) cake.
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- Dr.Cathy Subber
- Patti Minglin
- Katie Matar
- Linda Whitaker