Queen Bees and Wannabees

Shedding the Elementary School feathers, girls grow new wings and learn to fly on their own in middle school – and that first step off the branch can be daunting.

To learn how to take that flight more smoothly, nearly 300 mothers and daughters packed into Jefferson Junior High School last week to hear Author Rosalind Wiseman. Her book, Queen Bees & Wannabees, inspired the movie, Mean Girls.

“I’m kind of scared in middle school about gossip and rumors that could go on around about you, and if you say something wrong it could hurt your reputation,” said a 7th grader, Molly Hrubesky.

The workshop engaged the mothers and daughters to open the lines of communication without judgment and concern.

“Yes, there are scary things that your daughter is going through but you actually can do something about it. You really can figure out a way to guide your daughter through very normal very difficult social situations, and through the process, she’s going to learn to be a really substantive competent young woman,” said Wiseman.

One way she taught the mothers and daughters how to deal with conflicts is by a method called: SEAL.

S for Stop , breathe and choose a time to discuss the issue
E to Explain the concerns in a one-on-one manner
A to affirm and acknowledge your feelings
L for “Lock it out” or continue the friendship.

Using this structure, girls learn to own their feelings and react with dignity.
“Just because you see something happening every day it doesn’t make it right.

Really take your feelings seriously and treat yourself with dignity and treat others with dignity in return,” said Wiseman.

Mothers, like Kristin Stanley, also felt the lessons were powerful enough to last a lifetime.
“I think teaching girls how to do the seal, and if they can actually apply it every day and utilize these things in the future she’ll only be more strong in her choices and selection of people that she hangs out with,” said Stanley.

With a little help from this workshop and a lot of open-door communication, both the daughters and the mothers can survive the tumultuous teens.

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